Knitting Problems

Size: Women's Medium Materials Size 10 DPNs 90 yards of your squishiest, chunkiest stash yarn (my favorite is on the right, Loops & Threads Cozy Wool in Harvest) Gauge 9 stitches and 9 rows = 2 inches in 1x1 rib Pattern  CO 60 Row 1: (RS) K in 1x1 rib, join in the round Continue in 1x1 rib until hat measures 7" Row 1: *SSK, K9 in rib; repeat from * to end Rows 2-3: *K1, K9 in 1x1 rib; repeat from * to end Row 4: *SSK, K8 in rib; repeat from * Row 5: *K1, K8 in rib; repeat from * Row 6: *SSK, K7 in rib; repeat from * Row 7: *K1, K7 in rib; repeat from * Row 8: *SSK, K6 in rib; repeat from * Row 9: *K1, K6 in rib; repeat from * Row 10: *SSK, K5 in rib; repeat from * Row 11: *K1, K5 in rib; repeat from * Row 12: *SSK, K4 in rib; repeat from * Row 13: *K1, K4 in rib; repeat from * Row 14: *SSK, K3 in rib; repeat from * Row 15: *K1, K3 in rib; repeat from * Row 16: *SSK, K2 in rib; repeat from * Row 17: *K1, K2 in rib; repeat from * Row 18: *SSK, K1 in rib; repeat from * Rows 1...

There's a picture of my dad that used to sit on my mom's bedside table - in the nebulous lore that is my dad's past, I would place it somewhere around the time he took a break from college and lived in Colorado, getting by teaching other sometime-college-students to ski. In this picture, he's leaning forward into the camera lens with a grin that tells you how perfectly aware he is of the power of his fluffy mane of 80's hair, and he's wearing the platonic ideal of the perfect fisherman's sweater.  There are two points here -  first, this is a man with standards, and second, I have wanted to knit this exacting man a perfect fisherman's sweater for the past 15 years. About 20 years ago, I had a babysitter who could knit. If my memory is at all reliable, she was a woman of no discernible age or facial features that would sit on our sofa while we watched Pixar movies on VHS and crank out stockinette stitch color-blocked scarves like it was nothing. Fast forw...